In the pursuit of mindfulness, a former girlfriend and I got in the habit of reflecting on our days and sharing one moment that stood out.
“What was your moment for today?” she’d ask me.
It’s a nice thing to do as a couple. She’s no longer in my life, but I’ve kept up the habit, when I remember. I often reflect and contemplate in a general manner–perhaps too much–but there’s also something instructive about tracing the course of a day and simply thinking “what stood out to me today?” It’s a revealing exercise in distillation.
I was thinking about my moment for today. I had just finished teaching a young-children class at my bushiban, and had an hour before I was supposed to go to a nearby high school I’d never been to and sub for a predictably distracted and juvenile class. I was trying to amp myself into it, wondering if I should think more about what I was going to do, but figured there wasn’t any point in wasting brain power over it, because it never did any good anyways (and I was right). So I went to a nearby park–more of what they would call a “parklet,” back in SF–and took a spot on a bench. The park was a little triangle cutting through several unremarkable streets that I’ve walked down dozens of times, across from a couple stores where I’ve sometimes bought fruits and nuts from. Old people and toddlers drifted about, and the sky radiated a warm humidity mixed with a semi-smoky haze. Obnoxious sounding scooters raced by. Nothing special. I ate a pear and then opened a can of dates I had just bought, imported from..Iran. When I took the lid off, I was a bit disappointed. Compared to the juicy, bulbous varieties I’m used to buying in the farmer’s markets in the Bay, these were small and simple looking. Still, I thought it was a good sign they were imported from Iran–a place that takes its dates seriously.
I popped one in my mouth..and was surprised to experience a surprisingly luscious sweetness, a flavor palate unique to a proper date. I realized it was the first date I’ve eaten since being in this country. That familiar sweetness which had been forgotten was my moment for today.
It’s a good way to recount how the day had been like. And it’s usually the small things that make us happy / make our day. Thanks for sharing this, I should always remember to ask myself that question too.
I liked this story because it highlighted the surprise that we often find when we wrongly judge something before trying it.
I was thinking about your bird calls post and I realized that I’ve had moments like that when birdwatching. Often I’ll go somewhere and not see / hear many birds, and I’ll feel disappointed, sometimes even think I may have wasted my time, especially if I drove somewhere to get to a site. But even if I don’t see or hear many birds, often, just being out in nature and paying attention to my surroundings puts me in a great mood. And when I do see birds, I’m often more grateful for seeing them and pay more attention to them than on the busy days when I’m surrounded by birds and struggling to identify and record each species. Interestingly, some of the most unusual behavior that I’ve noticed from birds has been on those days when there were few birds out.
Sometimes I think that “disappointing” things can often open us up to greater levels of understanding and appreciation, if we’re open to it.
=)
Lack of expectations/serendipity is where a lot of the joy in life is to be found.